If you slide on one of the BIG mountains in the west you have probably noticed a really bad smell this season that might only have been a faintly bad smell in seasons past.

Jackson Hole, Snowbird, and Alta locals have reportedly been hit the worst by this phenomena with locals reporting increased incidence of skiing triggered migraines, just trying to get to the resort-road rage, and difficulty breathing in crowded liftlines.

What is the cause of this malaise gentle reader? Look no further than the industrial skiing giants and their conglomerate passes;

Ikon Pass

https://www.jhnewsandguide.com/news/town_county/article_74e0e79c-ed83-5a4f-b5b6-408b365126b0.html

This massive influx of tourists has created highly dangerous Tourist Fart Air bubble/inversions over these resorts! It has also been reported that TFA was at levels deemed unhealthy for at risk individuals this season over Presidents day and MLK day weekends!

In an effort to fully stamp out TFA in the Wasatch, the PPPC staff has created this logo to let tourists know that they can keep their TFA at places like Boyne Highlands or Hunter Mtn;

Friends don’t let Friends breath TFA!

Here at the PPPC we say “Don’t let Friends breath TFA! Go touring instead!”

In the future hopefully this logo will proudly denote resorts that are 100% TFA FREE!(Though we will continue holding our breath as companies like VAIL LOVE breathing TFA ALL DAY)

So, gentle reader, be warned the next time you are feeling nauseous, light headed, and really fucking annoyed at the local hill; you are breathing in WAY to much TFA!

Keep touring!

The Editor,

PPPC

12. February 2019 · Comments Off on I guess the skiing is pretty good this year…… · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, Enduro as fucking fuck!, Here comes the fuck weather!, Real mtn life, ski touring, Utah Tourism
Skin car!

Yes, that is a skin track going over a car at Alta Central.

The editor,

PPPC

23. January 2019 · Comments Off on Hey Bro; It is only a pow day…….. · Categories: #dontgoforthegun, Here comes the fuck weather!, loser, Real mtn life, shitbags, Sundance Film Festival

OH WOW!

Any long term Wasatch Slider knows that POW days up the LCC/BCC can get nutty. Like world class nutty with lift lines whose length defy imagination and return trips out of the canyons taking 3 plus hours. But after a recent 40 inch, full pow frenzy producing storm, things went all world class nutty at Brighton Resort.

This guy below got so nutty he decided to get in a fight with a local SLC cop and then make a move for his gun!

Full story of how a 21 year old idiot ends his life can be found here: Would rather go to jail then ski pow

Though this sums up things pretty nicely; “The officer said he pulled his gun on Harrison at one point as he waited for backup to arrive. The man was eventually taken into custody and transported to jail in a police vehicle with a cage.”

We are still shaking our heads at this one. And it is also a little amazing this kid is still breathing as one thing in Utah; Cops do not discriminate by skin color, everyone gets shot. Utah cops shoot people laying on the ground with their pants around their ankles or a snow shovel in their hands. It is put your hands up and say “yes sir” “no sir” or wait for the sting of hot lead.

I guess this is just a case of smoking meth being a BAD idea before heading out for a pow day bros and broettes……

The Editor

PPPC

07. November 2018 · Comments Off on New Emoji decided upon by Ski Utah for Wasatch Winters; BREAKING NEWS!! · Categories: #usedtosnowsatchmtns, Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, Enduro as fucking fuck!, no snow in Ut, Real mtn life, where is the fuck weather?, winter is dead

Late Breaking News as PPPC VERIFIES that SKI Utah has indeed selected a new social media emoji to signify Wasatch winters.

AND HERE IT IS!;

Now everyone can say “Shitty Wasatch Winter” without actually swearing……

Get ready to burn some skis people!

The Editor,

PPPC

Even Though it was promised at least 6 months ago; The Old Man Benton Rain Calendar 2017/18 roll up is finally here!

Of course The OMB is not a trained meteorologist but in this time of heightened awareness of climate change/global warming, he feels his caustic opinion on how ski season is now a joke because it is 60f most of February is a needed resource to cut through ski resort marketing bullshit(like when Vail resorts has the “How Deep is it ” banner up on the Park city homepage a week after it actually last snowed and any trace of anything resembling pow has been packed into blue ice by soft tourists skiing sideways on triple rocker skis that are 190mm under foot…).

But enough complaining about the sorry excuse that now passes for winter here in the Wasatch and ONTO THE ROLL UP!!!!

Drum roll please……..In the 2017/18 season here in the Wasatch, it rained 18 days last season when it should have been snowing!

This comment from The OMB in early April/2018 sums it up pretty well; “Pretty sure I saw a PCMR ski Patrol this morning flicking rocks off Home Run with a Hockey Stick!”

Damn, can this situation be topped in 2019?

Only time will tell and do not forget that starting 11/18, the Rain calendar goes live and all the fun starts anew!!

Wow, I cant wait….

Get em tuned and burn a few if the snow is late!

The Editor/PPPC

P.S., gentle reader, here is a shot of the current snowpack here in PC;

10. October 2018 · Comments Off on Winter training progress; 2018/Don’t call it a comeback! · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, Here comes the fuck weather!, instagram fitness ho's, Wasatch Citizens Series

Holy WOW! Winter is almost here and that means race season is less than 2 months away!

Luckily high level Nordic training has been well underway here at Pedal-n-Pole world headquarters based in Park City, Utah. Big changes have occurred in the training program as a new head coach has been hired for the 2018/19 campaign.

Fans of the PPPC might recognize this guy;

Coach Old Man Benton!

He has big plans for this season and started me off on a full ketogenic diet because that is what most instagram fitness ho’s are currently pushing and the results have been nothing less than astounding!

See for yourself as this is a before shot of me doing some interval training this spring pre Coach OMB;

I didn’t have to wait long for drastic results as this shot was taken at a altitude camp in August;

The gains are pretty obvious!

Fast forward another couple months and WOW;

Ripped and ready to SHRED!

With Coach OMB On Board; It is definitely going to be a standout season here at the PPPC!

See you at the the races,

The Editor/PPPC

24. March 2018 · Comments Off on Coming Soon! OMB Season Roll UP! · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda

When this guy rants;
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People listen!!

COMING AS SOON AS THE RESORTS CLOSE DOWN; Old Man Bentons Wasatch Winter Rain Calendar Wrap Up 2018!!

groe

Fuck yeah we know who has the Greatest Rain On Earth!

And soon you will know EXACTLY how many days it rained(when it shold have snowed) in 2018!

The Editor,

PPPC

OH SHIT!

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THE Mark White.

Skin side down people and keep em in one piece!

The Editor,

PPPC

09. February 2018 · Comments Off on Fake News! New York Times 2018 Olympics Edition. · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, sambrofromthenewyorktimes, Sundance Film Festival, winter olympics

Normally here at the PPPC, we do not give a rats ass about what mainstream, off brand puffy jacket wearing, non full carbon/ slack geo/enduro mtn bike rydn, society thinks about anything that goes on in the mountains or the culture surrounding it as the slopes, single tracks, trails, nordic centers, ect are already pretty full. Reacting to some Manahattanite’s drivel about “Cross Country Skiing” is not really a priority.

But, Gentle Reader, every once in a while you come across a piece that is really special and NYT’s Sam Anderson’s “What Cross Country skiing reveals about the human condition” is this on the Russian Track Teams PED regimen!
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To be honest, I was pretty much done with this guy after the first sentence about winter sports all being a “total Hassle”.

“Every winter sport is — in addition to being an inspiring triumph of elegant majesty — also a total hassle. It is not easy to convert your soft, frail, squishy, warm human body into something that can survive in the hard world of frozen water. It requires all kinds of logistics: fitting, strapping, buckling, bundling, clomping, shivering.”

Yeah, loading skis into a car and putting on a jacket, pretty much insurmountable and Woah there Sambro; already strike one as XC skiing is THE least hassle by a magnitude 55 compared to a day up the LCC but I digress… Sambro here, in addition to being overwhelmed by loading some skis in a car, just doesn’t know anything about “Cross Country Skiing”.

The statement; “Even the sport’s greatest champions, over the course of an event, average speeds that would be legal in a school zone. In the racers’ slowest patches, struggling up terrible hills, schoolchildren could probably outrun them.” is so comically written by someone who has never attended an actual “Cross Country” Ski race as the speed smacks you straight upside the face!

Not sure I see anything slow going on here but Sambro from Manhattan might know differently;
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The intern searched around the net real quick to see if we could locate Sambro;
samnyt2
PPPC staff is not yet convinced Sambro has ever been outside longer than the walk from the uber to the east village coffee bar but we are VERY biased and jaded.

Does the Manhattanite Nordic Expert, even realize that in “Cross Country Skiing” there are 2 disciplines? Skate and Classic?…….Sambro?…….Hello?

Classic is, of course, hella fast as well;
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Sambro, The Nordic Skiing Expert wouldn’t know it as he, due to no hassles or insurmountable loading of skis into a car, is most likely inside with a good book;
samanyt

Then we get this Pulitzer worthy observation; “Cross-country skiing is where the elegant majesty of winter sports goes to die an excruciatingly drawn-out death. So why would anyone do it? And why on earth would we ever watch?”

Well Sambro, Grace Be to ULLR!, how about this;
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Gentle Reader; correct me if I am wrong but all I see here IS Elegant Majesty!

SO what the F is this supposed informed, professional journalist writing about?

Every old story stereotype of the sport he ever heard in his life!

Fake News!

Ok, back to living the dream…….

The Editor;

PPPC

Could somebody please remind Ullr;

Red Sky at night,
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Sailors Delight!
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And all we get is the sunset……

The winter that wasn’t continues here in the Usedtosnowsatch.

The editor,

PPPC