24. March 2018 · Comments Off on Coming Soon! OMB Season Roll UP! · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda

When this guy rants;
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People listen!!

COMING AS SOON AS THE RESORTS CLOSE DOWN; Old Man Bentons Wasatch Winter Rain Calendar Wrap Up 2018!!

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Fuck yeah we know who has the Greatest Rain On Earth!

And soon you will know EXACTLY how many days it rained(when it shold have snowed) in 2018!

The Editor,

PPPC

OH SHIT!

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THE Mark White.

Skin side down people and keep em in one piece!

The Editor,

PPPC

09. February 2018 · Comments Off on Fake News! New York Times 2018 Olympics Edition. · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, sambrofromthenewyorktimes, Sundance Film Festival, winter olympics

Normally here at the PPPC, we do not give a rats ass about what mainstream, off brand puffy jacket wearing, non full carbon/ slack geo/enduro mtn bike rydn, society thinks about anything that goes on in the mountains or the culture surrounding it as the slopes, single tracks, trails, nordic centers, ect are already pretty full. Reacting to some Manahattanite’s drivel about “Cross Country Skiing” is not really a priority.

But, Gentle Reader, every once in a while you come across a piece that is really special and NYT’s Sam Anderson’s “What Cross Country skiing reveals about the human condition” is this on the Russian Track Teams PED regimen!
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To be honest, I was pretty much done with this guy after the first sentence about winter sports all being a “total Hassle”.

“Every winter sport is — in addition to being an inspiring triumph of elegant majesty — also a total hassle. It is not easy to convert your soft, frail, squishy, warm human body into something that can survive in the hard world of frozen water. It requires all kinds of logistics: fitting, strapping, buckling, bundling, clomping, shivering.”

Yeah, loading skis into a car and putting on a jacket, pretty much insurmountable and Woah there Sambro; already strike one as XC skiing is THE least hassle by a magnitude 55 compared to a day up the LCC but I digress… Sambro here, in addition to being overwhelmed by loading some skis in a car, just doesn’t know anything about “Cross Country Skiing”.

The statement; “Even the sport’s greatest champions, over the course of an event, average speeds that would be legal in a school zone. In the racers’ slowest patches, struggling up terrible hills, schoolchildren could probably outrun them.” is so comically written by someone who has never attended an actual “Cross Country” Ski race as the speed smacks you straight upside the face!

Not sure I see anything slow going on here but Sambro from Manhattan might know differently;
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The intern searched around the net real quick to see if we could locate Sambro;
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PPPC staff is not yet convinced Sambro has ever been outside longer than the walk from the uber to the east village coffee bar but we are VERY biased and jaded.

Does the Manhattanite Nordic Expert, even realize that in “Cross Country Skiing” there are 2 disciplines? Skate and Classic?…….Sambro?…….Hello?

Classic is, of course, hella fast as well;
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Sambro, The Nordic Skiing Expert wouldn’t know it as he, due to no hassles or insurmountable loading of skis into a car, is most likely inside with a good book;
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Then we get this Pulitzer worthy observation; “Cross-country skiing is where the elegant majesty of winter sports goes to die an excruciatingly drawn-out death. So why would anyone do it? And why on earth would we ever watch?”

Well Sambro, Grace Be to ULLR!, how about this;
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Gentle Reader; correct me if I am wrong but all I see here IS Elegant Majesty!

SO what the F is this supposed informed, professional journalist writing about?

Every old story stereotype of the sport he ever heard in his life!

Fake News!

Ok, back to living the dream…….

The Editor;

PPPC

Could somebody please remind Ullr;

Red Sky at night,
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Sailors Delight!
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And all we get is the sunset……

The winter that wasn’t continues here in the Usedtosnowsatch.

The editor,

PPPC

03. February 2018 · Comments Off on No Snow Snoquet/Agony of defeat; 2018 · Categories: #usedtosnowsatchmtns, no snow below 8, Real mtn life, where is the fuck weather?, winter is dead

A piss poor winter at best has led to mostly hybrid courts this season. There was only full “Snoquet” covereage for about 8 minugtes since Ullr switched his ass up to road biking rather than skiing pow or nordee glydn.

Oh well……

Winter is short; Play Snoquet!

The Editor,

PPPC

28. January 2018 · Comments Off on One of those Nordic day what whats? · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda, hotgirlsnordicsskiinginjogbras

Gentle Reader;

The PPPC would like to save you a bunch of your valuable web surfing time!

How can a no traffic/not relevant to anything/just another wordpress blog achieve this you ax? Due to our targeted online curation skills, the staff at the PPPC is specially trained to weed out kooky/nordic extreme videos.

For instance; if you happen to come across “One of those Nordic Days”, just forward the cursor straight to 1:07……
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……That, gentle reader, will drop you right on the only part of this kook show worth watching. We have also taken a few screen shots of the worthy portion so you don’t have to waste anytime; ee108163-1976-4a58-8995-08893d603a32

And this one; 5f9cf7c3-d664-4e1b-af0f-9e5a868e43c3

SHAZAM! The PPPC just saved you, gentle reader, 3:56 of exposure to euro guys doing all kinds of wacky things on Nordic skis!

Now you can spend that saved time watching something worth your valuable time like this; Valhalla.

Enjoy!

The Editor,

PPPC

27. January 2018 · Comments Off on RIP Warren Miller! The guy who changed everything. · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda

You wake up and hear Warren Miller, with 750 movies in the can, has traversed into the great beyond. To many this guy just made ski movies but to us “Pre Internet” skiers, these movies provided a window into what appeared to be and what is another world. (BTW; I can’t take credit for “Pre Internet Skiers”. Like most knowledge on this site-that term comes from King Weenie and his obit to WM which can be found here)
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With the rise of Youtube and triple X outdoor vids of all shapes and sizes, Warren Miller films had lost their Top Dog Spot but the overall impact of Warren Miller on outdoor/mountain culture cannot be understated in ALL of the lifestyle sports. This is the guy who publicized, legitimized, and monetized the “Dirt Bag” lifestyle. He created the social media “influencer” decades before the internet was anymore than a twinkle in Al Gore’s eye.

Prior to mainstream distribution of Miller films, the only way to get free skis, outerwear, or paid was to be a very successful ski racer; Downhill, Slalom, GS, or Super G gods only need apply. Racing was considered the only legitimate form of skiing and this is where all RD and money flowed to and from in the industry. Enter the Warren Miller film and it’s portrayal of raw, off the corporate America grid, mountain outlaws just getting up in the morning and skiing. It took a while but the ski bum went legit and became Seth Morrison and ski companies realized that maybe they should put some money into making pow skis since they now had a way to promote them with out ski racing.

Any post dirt bag athlete now making a living off their instagram/facebook/youtube accounts owes a massive debt to Warren Miller.

These movies also changed lives.

For a skier like me who grew up in NW Pa and pretty much lived at 350ft vertical Mount Pleasant, the pre season Warren Miller films offered a window into what Skiing could be; a full on lifestyle. There is no way I would have ever found out about Alta, Snowbird(where I spent the entire 90’s), Mammoth Mountain, or the fact that some people didn’t even need lifts to ski! No way I would be living out west since 1990 with out Warren Miller showing that people were already doing it and thriving on ski culture.

Much more than a movie maker, this guy was a cultural force of nature! Warren Miller movies always had the message; GET OUT AND DO IT!

Whether that was getting in some turns at Mt P or moving you entire life first to New England then California, then the Mecca that is Utah!

Thank You Warren Miller for expanding minds and horizons!

The Editor,

PPPC

25. January 2018 · Comments Off on Valhalla! · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda

When Vikings and Celts die, this is where we go;

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On any sunny, supportable crust day; Is there any doubt you will live forever?

FAUGH A BALLAGH!

The Editor;

PPPC

24. January 2018 · Comments Off on Winter lasted 48 hours in 2018 in the #usedtosnowsatch. · Categories: #usedtosnowsatchmtns, where is the fuck weather?

After a seeming eternity of bikini ski days, it finally snowed here in the #usedtosnowsatchmtns!

But Alas, gentle reader, the storm kind of sucked a big bag of dicks and that is according to an expert not some snowbro; King Weenie says the storm sucked bro

OF course we are extremely jaded here in the #usedtosnowsatchmtns and pretty much anything less than continuous 40 inch plus days at Alta or the Bird with no lift lines is a complete disaster.

So by the standards set by most modern, global warming enhanced, bikini winters, and as the view from the top secret PPPC snow stake shows; this storm was ok.

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Even down in the ditch known as Salt Lake City, winter can produce some amazing scenes;
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Scenes that make even the most trophy of PC trophy wives start asking about how many autographed prints will be available;
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While everyone was pretty stoked to get to actually wear our all mountain beanies, sweet/major label puffy jackets, and moon boots for a day and a half, official spring is just over a month away so any prolonged cold snaps are basically over.

Usually these types of winters are then never-ended by active cold patterns in late April and May that don’t do much more than delay the mountain bike season months after anyone gives a crap about skiing.

And so it goes; keep that bikini line waxed, gentle readers!

The EDITOR,

PPPC

09. January 2018 · Comments Off on Coming Soon; OMB winter 17/18, YOY Rain Day Analysis! · Categories: Blatant Utah tourism propaganda

When the OMB speaks; Take Notes!!

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THE OMB Holding Court on any given day in a sweet Mountain Town not near you

(BTW; If you don’t know who the OMB is, you are probably doomed to a life of being clad in some Wal Mart or Sears off brand puffy and thinking it is ok)

But anyway some big analytic’s are about to drop here at the PPPC as The OMB breaks down the numbers YOY on how many Rain Days we have had so far this season in the Usedtosnowsatch mountains. Yeah, you read that correctly so I recommend keeping this blog open all in a tab day in your browser because when this becomes street knowledge, you will want to be in the know and share that info across all social media platforms simultaneously!

If you get bored waiting click through a damn link and buy something as there is no guarantee as to when this info is going to drop.

The Editor
,

PPPC